So i dont know what went wrong, but I totally. died. this semester.



Anyway, I realized my problem is that I have no passion, no dream, nothing that is MINE. No amazing talents to speak of, and like I said, I just need a dream or something to chase, something to throw myself into, because I can't not be working towards the rest of my life. I refuse to live ignorantly sitting there while my life goes by. If I'm going to do something, I want to do it all the way.

So here is the dream:
be someone that brings life to other people in some way. I want to fix things, to save things or people.

Medical.

What exactly? no idea. nursing for starters. This is all just begining, This is like a shadow of a dream I could have, but that I want, and I don't know if I can do it. It is a huge undertaking, and I'm going to go for it. So, encouragement needed, i guess. I want to work in other places and be the doctor where there are thousands of people who don't HAVE a doctor. I want to learn other languages, fluently, I want to see the world, and I want to help people any way I can and live for that. I want to be able to read the stock market. I want to be able to read the political climate of my country, and I'm tired of being ignorant about so much that is going on in the world. I want to know history like it's my own, and be able to tell when it's about to repeat itself.


anyway this is kind of for me. I just need to have it somewhere where i can see it. In all honesty, I know how the world works, in six months I could have given up on all this and be somewhere completely different. I could have a new dream, I could have something better, I have no idea. I just need SOMETHING.


PS Anberlin is an awesome band. LISTEN TO THE FOLLOWING SONGS BY THEM:
breaking
hello alone
the unwinding cable car
THE FEEL GOOD DRAG

amazing AMAZING

listen now. do it